Simplified Chef T-Shirts

Tonight, on the microwave channel... chicken pot pie!

'Like death by salad.'

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Little chef.

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"

TV Chef Cooking Range

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

Scales

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"This? It's my Thanksgiving outfit. It's already pre-stained in cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie."

Making Christmas Pudding.

"Come on, honey, try just one Goliath pea. It's organic, locally grown, and GMO free."

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"

"Who wants to help Grandma make her famous gingerbread man cookies? You kids get the flour, eggs, and sugar, and I'll get the protoplasm and epithelial tissue."

'Eat your carrots. They are good for growing children.'

A family gets ready for their microwave meal on the patio.

"How am I supposed to cook? The internet is down."

"And the kitchen is ideal for people who like to eat out."

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

'It needs more dirt.'

"We merged to save through volume buying."

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'