Time-challenged Reader Gifts

"Ooh look ...the book I've been waiting ages for, but will never have time to read."

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Nice, but as long as there are readers there will be scrolls."

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Did the cow that jumped over the moon have NASA funding?"

"Tell me the fairytale about the economy."

"How can back to back be your favourite position?"

"It says here we should get a lodger."

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

A shark is reading a book entitled 'Swimming with the lawyers'.

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"If you don't want the light to keep shining in your eyes, stop asking me how much longer I'm going to read."

'Certainly not, Philip! And calling me Babe will get you nowhere!'

The Invention of Reading in Bed.

'I'm a vestal virgin.'

"It's a terrible hiccup you got there. . . let me help you.. I made a dent in the car today!"

Fifty Shades of Yellow

"How's your beer coming, Eddie?"

'An owl and a pussycat? -- Is that even legal?'

"That's a nice little book. It didn't waste too much of my time."

"No!"

Wrong shelf.

"The 3-D version sucks."

Sleeping man uses his beard as a book mark.

Wilfred Owen

'And they all lived happily ever after, once the prince's lawyers sorted out the pre-nuptial...'

"Wouldn't one pen in your pajamas suffice?"