Tile Enthusiast Gifts

Reptiles lizards in the form of tiles basking in the sun.

Bathroom Chess

'This suit is lined with heat resistant tiles.'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

"I say we settle around here, there's no chemical aftertaste to the soil: Must be an organic farmer..."

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'Try to relax, Ed. It's a beach, not sandy soil.'

"I see you ladies are admiring the Tuscan Blue."

The Movers - Decluttering

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

I'm looking for a job?

Kitchen Tiling.

It's a new miracle fabric, of course.

"Oh, boy! My favorite! plotting soil!"

Rep-Tiles.

Gardening Tips - allow worms to drag unwanted organic matter deep into the soil

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

Blake's Sealant.

"It's 25% cotton and 75% made in China"

And it stores easily under your bed...

Bias Tape

Objets D'Angst

"I'm not sure why our realtor recommended getting a home staging expert."

"Anything you can do, I can do better...unless it's cleaning up your room!"

Maid with her sewing basket