Ticket Tale Sharer Pillows

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"Well did he?"

Wanna talk about it?

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Trust me, you don't want this job."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"Billy, we don't need to feed that vacuum robot."

"Do you want the last piece, or can I have it?"

"I feel like my emotional baggage is permanently stuck on the luggage carousel."

Sponge Blog

"Get those things away from me- I can't stop eating them."

'Go to Hell'

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

Dog's Sandwich

'Gloria, what do I have to do to share a fascinating online article about the surprising ways to use watermelon?'

A guy steals popcorn from the man sitting next to him.

'Normally I don't mind regifting but on occasion you get back the same hideous thing you tried to get rid of.'

Samosas

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"What I did during my summer vacation with my mom's 1,000 free minutes..."

Tall tales and Short stories

Types of online-ing

'So tell me more about your mother...'

"No! How would it look if I listed a CAT as a friend on my social media page?"

"Psst... jelly doughnuts."

Grandma's Cupcakes And Details About My Foot Surgery

Kid reading Tolstoy's 'War and Peace' as Dad brings in 'The Three Bears'.

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

'They're getting awfully entitled.'

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

'What a day! Mrs. Reed's own kids had her rubbed the wrong way before we even got to her.'

"Let's both read it. Then we'll have something to talk about."

"He lost his Season Ticket."