Ticket Giver's Anonymous Gifts

'I think I need glasses, I've just given my own car a ticket.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Football Game Tickets. These seats are so far from the field we'll need a passport to get to them!

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Attendees Anonymous

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

Bon Voyage

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'Oh my God, they took my World Cup tickets!!!'

Solar Storm Expected!

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

"Research tells me they found your DNA in the suggestion box."

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

"You're here to discuss sin, aren't you, sir?"

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

Man has a lot of unpaid traffic tickets.