Ticket Giver's Anonymous T-Shirts

'I think I need glasses, I've just given my own car a ticket.'

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"Think about it. Maybe it's a good thing the boss doesn't know your name."

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

Hottest Tix in TownSpecial Mets promotion dates

Need tickets.

Stonehenge Ticket Office

The first recorded case of overbooking: Noah having to leave the Unicorns behind.

"There are 45,000 people at the stadium but only 500 of them bought tickets...the other ones are security guards for our 250 million euro player!"

Bon Voyage

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

A electrically-powered man checks tickets on the bumper cars.

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

Solar Storm Expected!

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

"Research tells me they found your DNA in the suggestion box."

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

"You're here to discuss sin, aren't you, sir?"

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

"He lost his Season Ticket."