Thunderbolt Tosser Gifts

The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

Trout Game

Musical Fight

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"How's my wife doing in the discus tryouts? I can tell you that, at home, she's hell on wheels with saucers and plates."

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

"My Instagram feed is basically people, dog food and tennis balls."

'Bone appetit!'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

'Wait! His toy mouse and his yummies!'

'If she's that upset about the football match we're playing in this afternoon, what's she going to be like when she hears about the darts match this evening?'

'Come on! haven't you anything else to do?' 'There's always darts'

Exercise rat race

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

'Her special Talent is sulking.'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

Acupuncture darts.

Before Pillows.

'Be honest Fred - you've had enough.'

Tantrum sex.

'Wow, Frank - he nailed it!'

"You realize they won't know the difference."

"We're offering a free rubber bust of Roy Hodgson you can throw at the telly if it goes to penalties.'

Leek club darts match.

"It's right there in black and white, break two, win a prize."

Oh, no! I'm going to miss the target entirely! POP! It might work in some sports, but trying to have a darts tournament in a bubble was a bad idea!

"Mr. Zeus! What are you doing out of bed? After your operation, the doctor said you shouldn't even be shorting out lamps..."

'Coming through!'

Le javelot pour bûcheron.

Poison Dart Training Camp.

'Ooo...this can't be good.'

'Son, I'll put your treehouse back when the deer season is over.'