Thrift Store Hunter Gifts

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

'Retro?... My entire wardrobe is at least ten years older than this lot!'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"How soon will this be a remnant

That's supposed to say garage sale!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"I just..."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

Crap others threw out

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Electricity Bills

House sale.

'I thought you wanted a clothes dryer.'

'There's something satisfying about clearing out the loft and taking it all to a car boot sale to make room for all the rubbish you buy there with the proceeds.'

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

"There's another one! Pull over!"

Man debating the price in a resteurant

"OK...now they've gone too far! We're barely out of Halloween!"

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.