Thrift Store Treasure Hunter Gifts

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.

"This is an interesting trend...teens no longer think expensive fashion labels like Fubu, Hilfiger and Guess are cool."

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

The Dubloon Stops Here

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

"You're lucky someone was nice enough to turn it in."

"Can you believe you left your job and family to search for this key, and it was under here the whole time?"

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

'Do you think we should tell anyone about this?'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I love these old decorations!"

"Yes, it's nice my husband has hoarded a fortune, but it would be nicer if he would let me spend some of it though..."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"How soon will this be a remnant

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Hey, I think I found something. Heavy metal detector.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

I.O.U. one pot of gold.

Pirate

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Man commiting suicide finds the treasure at the bottom of the sea.

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

Archaeologists discover a football

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'