Thrift Shopper Gifts

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

House sale.

Wallpapering.

'Teri and I rescued these cabinets from a landfill.'

Second hand furniture.

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"I just..."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'It's time for the annual wage review...' (Sign on the wall says 'Remember money isn't everything!')

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

The Bargain Brand

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

How much would you take off for cash?

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

Electricity Bills

'I thought you wanted a clothes dryer.'

"There's another one! Pull over!"

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

'For Sale Used Only Once.'