Thrift Enthusiast Gifts

'We needed to furnish our new flat, so rather than go to all that expense, we've hired an empty skip for a few days.'

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

To save money in these tough economic times, Betsy recycled the family's dental floss.

Save'N Scratch Used Mattress Sale.

'He's excited to find a quarter, but refuses to shop with a coupon.'

'He's so tight he won't even buy the kids a new computer.'

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

'I'm learning to make do and mend...'

'You have a lot of books...why don't you have a bookcase?' 'Nobody will lend me one!'

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

New Twenty

I raise the prices once a day...they've come to expect it.

'You know what a tightwad Howie was. He was thrilled when he found out he could save 60 percent on a cemetery plot if he was buried vertically.'

Thrift: Divorce and remarry smaller.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'I can't believe you got such a great deal on those panties! We should shop at garage sales more often.'

'My little boy made the sign!'

I buy anything.

'I had a hole in my pocket, and I lost the tax surplus!'

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

'Dumpster diving is your solution to everything!'

"No, I'm not off to the charity shop, I've coming back from the charity shop."

"Relax dear, it was just a nightmare. You don't really have to buy a round of drinks."

"Stop saying you're a fiscal conservative. You're just cheap!"

"No, he's not 'chilling out'. His idea of chilling is to leave the heat off until December."

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

"Instead of putting your phone on vibrate and taping your toothbursh to it, just go buy an electric toothbrush."

"Why don't you give it up and get central heating instead?"

"I'm all about price point. Think of a discounted price and point."

Electricity Bills

January Sales

"I'll be next door till you've turned up the heating, okay?"