Thrift Shop Aficionado Gifts

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

"May I suggest a rummage sale for charity instead of a dinner? I've started a new diet."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Second hand furniture.

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I just..."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Online Shopping.

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

House sale.

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Electricity Bills

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

Extreme Yard Sale

Add to Basket?

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."

"There's another one! Pull over!"

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.