Thrift Shop Aficionado T-Shirts

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

"May I suggest a rummage sale for charity instead of a dinner? I've started a new diet."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

High security Santa's grotto

Second hand furniture.

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"I just..."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

Online Shopping.

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Sale On Slightly Irregular Designer Shirts

Crap others threw out

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'Wait until you see what you got me!'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Electricity Bills

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

House sale.

Extreme Yard Sale

'He outgrew his shoes on the way home from the shoe store.'

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

Add to Basket?

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

"I love holiday shopping, but with all the scams this time of year I must be careful."