Thrift Gifts

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

'Turn right at the first $4.09 unleaded, then a hang a left at $4.03 unleaded, and over the bridge, past the $4.01 unleaded...'

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

You call me cheap, but I saved 28 cents on these crackers. How many stores did it take? Three. And how much did you spend on gas? I walked. Face it, mother. You're just plain cheap. You make it sound so harsh. I so prefer "careful with money." "Skinflint" has a nice ring. Chips.

Daughter and extravegant mother

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

Thrift: Have a face-lift, and keep the old face.

'I got where I am by economizing wherever possible. For example, I still make and receive my phone calls at the luncheonette downstairs.'

Thrift: Smoke stationary cars instead of cigarettes.

"I feel that just as as I think I can make ends meet, someone moves the ends!"

"Baldo! Get away from my truck!"

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Second hand furniture.

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Queen of Upcycling!

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"I just..."

"I love these old decorations!"

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"There's more inside."

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange