Third Child Born Gifts

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'Congratulations! You're the proud father of three healthy, bouncing tax deductions!'

Child in a bear suit.

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'The worst part is not to give birth, but to remember all their names!'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Triple whammy."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

Untidy bedroom

Reflected Glory

"Congratulations, you're expecting triplets."

'Your wife has had triplets. I suggest you go home and get some of the sleep you won't get in the next several years.'

'It's one of life's little miracles!'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Look, will you forget about them? They're in the past. The important thing is what I feel now – about you!"

The Houseplants vs The Kids

"That's right, Scotty. You came from your Mommy's Belly."

'I don't believe it - At school all my teachers said I was an underachiever!'

Time for bed

'I eventually want one to go with every outfit.'

"Early Father's Day Gift!"

"So, the inevitable sequel."