Therapy Session Giggler Pillows

"I've got this phobia about paying bills...."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

"It wasn't supposed to be funny."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

Psychobabble.

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

"Would you consider selling me the TV and movie rights to what you just told me?"

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

"Please join me now in a group meditation."

"Hang on a second! This nutcase is allowed on the furniture, but I'm not?!"

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"Well, if you want my blood pressure lower don't keep waiting two hours to see you."

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

"I have a recurring dream that I have a recurring dream, but I can't remember what it is!"

'Let me know when you find it difficult to speak.'

'I don't feel I stand out in a crowd anymore.'

"Not every dream is about you, Mom."

'Not much of a support group are they.'

"Are you blushing?!"