Therapy Jokester Pillows

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

How's your animal? Do you mean my wolverine, or my inner animal?

Harold finally decided to take his psychiatrist's advice to become more receptive.

Scream Shrink

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

Virtual Doctor

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"You're completely screwed up."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Computer help.

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"How long have I had what problem?"

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

A mental-health spot quiz, Al: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single … Google search of travel websites"?

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

Dog in therapy.

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

I think I have a gilt complex.