Therapy Jester Pillows

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"#notguilty."

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Yawning barristers in court

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'He started it!'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I got probation."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Justice

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"