Therapy Couch Connoisseur Gifts

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

"Goal!"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Binge Watch

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

The Common Sutra.

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"I see a couch."

Staycation Photos

E-Z Livin'

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

'When did we lose our targeted audience status?'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'The best part about working from home is NOT working from home.'

Eventual Motion Machine

Exercise vs Laxative.

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"George is going for the Guinness World Record for just sitting."