Therapeutic Humorist Gifts

We made great progress today, but I think we need a few more sessions.

'I like working with low self-esteem types - They never argue with you,'

'I'm in two minds whether to go or not.'

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"You're completely screwed up."

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"How long have I had what problem?"

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

Computer help.

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."

Dog in therapy.

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'