Therapeutic Humor Gifts

Attention Span therapy Center: 'Are we done yet?'

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

Patients competition.

A swan?! Let's face it - I am just an ugly duckling!

"You don't need a second opinion. I told MY therapist all about you and she agrees you're nuts!"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'That reminds me of the blind date I had last weekend!'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"You're completely screwed up."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"I'm a glass-half-empty and I'm leaking."

"How long have I had what problem?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"No, I don't think you have 'multiple personality disorder'. In fact, I don't think you have a personality at all."

Computer help.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

'Lately my business instincts and intuitions have been on opposing sides.'

"My brother is always trying to one-up me. As soon as I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder he said he had tripolar disorder."

Unsmiley face at the psychiatrist...

Woman on psychiatrists couch talking to statue in art museum.

"Siri, are Charlie’s parents to blame for his neurosis?"

I think I have a gilt complex.

"Dr. Livingstone will see you now."