Theory Buff Gifts

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'Theories of educational administration cards.'

'Either Godel has come up with a great new theory, or the most elaborate excuse in mathematical history for not finishing something.'

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

Idea/Theory

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"The good old days of eating the washing off the line are all gone methinks: The farmer has bought an electric dryer..."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

At the Museum

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Apples for sale

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Meet the author"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

God Sneezes Out Creation

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Moses' Tablet

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'He's been like this ever since he had his laser eye treatment.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."