Evolution Theory Buff Gifts

Going back for the Holidays

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

At the Museum

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Albert Einstein

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

Apples for sale

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Live in the sunshine, swim in the sea, drink in the wild air." — Ralph Waldo Emerson "Catch tennis balls in the mouth." — Me

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

God Sneezes Out Creation

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Bermuda Triangles

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Young Dr. Dolittle.

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'