Evolutionary Psychology Buff Gifts

'It may be evolution to you, but I call it 'avoidance of intimacy issues!'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Banana Split Personality

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"It's the dawn of a new era"

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

Evolution.

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

'I screwed up royally!'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'You know, until we learned to walk upright, I never realized how short you are.'

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

'I'd go back if I were you.'

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."