Evolutionary Psychology Buff Gifts

'It may be evolution to you, but I call it 'avoidance of intimacy issues!'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Banana Split Personality

"It's the dawn of a new era"

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Evolution of the Birthday Party.

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I screwed up royally!'

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

'You know, until we learned to walk upright, I never realized how short you are.'

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

Evolution.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

'I'd go back if I were you.'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

"...I think we've found the missing link!"

"See? Look what happened to Ook! - I WARNED you about evolution."