Evolution Theory Buffs Gifts

Evolved to Ski.

"I know. Let's wait here until we evolve to an upright position. Then we could reach it."

'If your calculations are correct, this completely revolutionizes everything we thought we knew about why chalk squeaks on a blackboard!'

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

Now that we've developed lungs, it's only a matter of time before we feel guilty about not exercising.

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

'Oh dear. My son's an evolutionary throw forward.'

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

"It's a giant banana but is it an organic giant banana?"

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

Evolution Solution: Billions of years in the business - We'll guide you through the process, step by step.

Evolution disruptor: The selfie stick. The reason why T-Rex's arms never evolved.

'Now that we've learned to talk, we can have FOCUS GROUPS!'

'Well, kids -- I guess it all started to fall apart when they canceled 'Seinfeld'....'

"Crap. I overslept."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

'You folks just sit right there and I'll go kill some hors d'oeuvres.'

Darwin's Evolving Statue.

Off to a bad start.

tbt

'Oh-oh -- we should have brought sunscreen!'

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

"...an this is my extended family."

The Development of the Theory of Relativity

"If I had known I was going to evolve, I would have worked on my beach bod."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

'There you are -- I've been looking all OVER for you!'

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

Idea/Theory

Evolution...the decoy shark.

Just think if that meteor had never hit planet earth 65 million years ago...

"Evolution....Jeez! Talk about your learning curve!"

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"