Theme Park Critic Pillows

'Tunnel of divorce'

'I already work for food. I just want to try a cheeseburger for once!!'

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"The lakes are getting more like a theme park."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

Tunnel of TV

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Riding the Rollercoaster.

The Big Game Park

Funnel of Love.

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"Now this is a dog park!"

Tunnel of like.

Stock Market Roller-coaster.

Mine Shaft of Love.

'Tunnel of love, in a cold climate'

Tunnel of Spotty Wi-Fi

Jurassic Pork

"Sorry Kid?"

The interminable!

"Last weekend I went to Orlando for the DisneyWorld re-opening."

Will accompany your kids on rides so you won't barf - $20.

The Rape of Europa

"Wait – can you take us to Neverland? We're kind of over Florida."

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

DisneyworldDisneyland - Continental Divide.

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

'Here's where things got ugly.'

Monster Roller Coaster