Theme Park Lovers Pillows

Bumper Car UFO.

"So nice to spend a week just ransacking with the kids."

'This vacation has just come to a screeching halt - My pocket's just been picked.'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

End the Winter Blues

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

You must be this tall.

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"The lakes are getting more like a theme park."

Bob's Marriage Advice: 'Geez, Bob. . . Now you're equating both marriage living in Florida to death?!!. . .Ah. . . so the restraining order by Disneyworld is still in effect?'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

Rollercoaster opens when it is still being built.

Tunnel of TV

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"Tunnel of love"

Tunnel of Like.

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

'...Please stop the...'

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

Log Ride

Bill hits the ground running, makes a big splash early on, and rides a roller-coaster of insane popularity right into the "Where Are They Now?" Wilderness of Forgotten Celebrities.

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

Tunnel of Whale Guts

Riding the Rollercoaster.

Children sitting in bumper cars playing on their cellphones.

Giraffe Rollercoaster

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

Funnel of Love.