Theme Park Philosopher Pillows

"Mike, I have to level with you. I said I liked Disney World, but actually I didn't."

Jurassic Parking Lot

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

"Look—you can't say we don't give them fair warning!"

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

Philosopher trading cards.

Future Tents

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

The ride with the shortest lines at disneyworld...

Kids playing with the cardboard box instead of the expensive toys.

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

"Didn't read the book, missed the movie, but I've been to the theme park."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

Riding the Rollercoaster.

The Big Game Park

"Now this is a dog park!"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

Funnel of Love.