Parking Philosopher Pillows

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

Humanitarian Society. Parking for members only. Violators will be towed at our expense.

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Jurassic Parking Lot

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Nice park. . .

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

No Double Parking

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Andrews, a parking space will be assigned to you in a day or two.'

"Wanna swap?"

The 18-hole course is to the left and a 9-hole course is to the right --- Which do you want to play? I'll decide after my first tee shot?

"The good news is, we've managed to secure you a ?7 per week pay increase. The bad news is, we're going to charge ?2 per day to park your cars."

Traffic Lights Medicine

'Is he taking the piss?'

'No, you don't get extra credit for a creative parking technique!'

You know the opera was a flop when even the orchestra leaves early to get to the parking garage before the rush.

'My ball would be on the green if you hadn't been in the way!'

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

Mission Impossible

'I should've known better thank to park my car anywhere near where you dock your boat.'

Valet parking.

Mobile Holmes.

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'

"You can't compete with a retired pharmacist."

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"I'm afraid the news isn't good - your parking ticket expired a week ago!"

"Over here, doofus."

'That tut, tut sound when you park..? It's your husband.'