Park Bench Philosopher Pillows

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Man reading in a dark park using a streetlight as a book light

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

"Not unless they're gluten-free bread crumbs."

Mission Impossible

"The 'sharing economy?' But I don't even know you!"

'No bread crumbs for me, thanks. I have allergies to wheat.'

"An office job would drive me crazy!...sitting at a desk all day!"

"No, accepting the popcorn doesn't obligate you in any way."

"I gave at the office!"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I AM at my usual position."

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

You can't get what up

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

Colin didn't really need a pocket-calculator...he already knew how many pockets he had!

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'