Park Bench Philosophers Pillows

"Wanna swap?"

'Who do you think you're kidding? — the AARP doesn't have secret agents!'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"I AM at my usual position."

"I'm bored."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

"So, what do you do for play?"

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

"Recess does things to a man."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"I'm doing whatever I feel like doing, before I reach the age of accountability."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

'Don't let them know you're a prodigy. If they find out, they'll take away your teddy bear.'

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'They're relics of the many ancient civilization that have dwelled at Blisshaven.'

"Ok, so I go back and forth… Then what?"

'You put it down for five seconds. I get it now.'

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'My investment club had morphed into a support group.'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Isn't it about time to switch from your warm-weather chair to your cold-weather chair?"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"What they lose on the swings we gain on the roundabouts."

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'I don't have to go to school. My mom teachers me.'

"OK, I'll play outside, but what do I do when I get out of Wi-Fi range?"

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

"Yeah, Charlie wnet to one of those 'mindful outdoor experience' seminars. . ."

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."