Theatrical Thinkers Gifts

False joviality.

'It's not easy being ahead of your time.'

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Shakespeare was bisexual

"To be or not to be."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

"It's a play on words."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"It's just one monkey at one typewriter, but we've given him an infinite need for validation."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

William Shakespeare

'Don't worry about the thumb sucking...she'll be texting with it soon enough.'

'Doesn't txt msg make it 38 languages and not 37?'

Midsummer Night's Dream

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"How come there's no feel-good performance art?"

Night-shift entrance

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

Shakespeare working on his "author's bio"

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

'Is there a psychiatrist in the house - the cast is very depressed over opening night reviews!'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

Chekov play and scorecard,

'You'll never get the Burgundy stain out, so let's just color the whole thing.'

Off Off Off Off Broadway

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."