Theatrical Gardener T-Shirts

The Phantom Of The Garden

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Prize vegetables.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

So Close..

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Gardener attacked by plants.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

Gardener

Doing the borders.

"First time pruning?"

Plant Lady

Pumpkin patch

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

Rose Garden

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Yardless: Please help

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.

I guess she had other plans for you.

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'