Theater Teacher Gifts

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Cross dressing class: 'Today we will be learning how to spend hours in the bathroom and moan about men.'

"It's Cinderella?!?"

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

"Just be yourself."

'High school for actors - John Smith - Acting principal'

Marlon Brando.

'Everyone will recognize me. I told them I had the meatiest part.'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

"I'm the acting superintendent. I oversee all the drama and theatre programs."

Three Witches from Macbeth

"No, no, no people! You're missing your marks! Everyone back up 20 feet and let's try this again!"

"Bond James, Bond."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

They hated me.

"Just be yourself."

Showbiz Awards

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Tut and Carmen.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'They all want to play the star.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"