Theater Student Gifts

"Jane's internal monologue is 'Hamlet'."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"If it appears that I only act like I'm working, it's because I minored in Theater."

The Art Student.

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

The Artist

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

Comedy and tragedy masks

Just call me Picasso!

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

William Shakespeare

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Vincent Van Og.

German School

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

"Are you sure this is a Film Noir"

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"The self-portraits of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo were influenced by the great artists of her time."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Poetry repairman