Performing Arts Student Gifts

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

The Art Student.

Showbiz Awards

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

The Artist

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Cimafunk

Guitarist

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Comedy Cafe

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Triangle

Stand-up Romcom

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Taking a peek at the audience

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Piano Recital

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore