Theater Patron Pillows

Tut and Carmen.

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'It's my favorite.'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

Leonore from Fidelio

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Wildcats Strike.

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

To-Let Town Centre Map

Funding Cuts for the Arts

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

Tilted painting

Pub Kendo.

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Yes, but is it art?"

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'Crumbs! I'm holding out for the whole loaf.'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

Circus trousers

John Ruskin

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

Theatrical Christmas.

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'