The Unlucky Voyager Gifts

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Vaccination Passport

Beach flirting

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Unrest Area.

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Support Group for the Directionally Challenged.

"Slow down. This stuff is gold, I’m tellin’ ya! Gold!"

A woman reads a romance novel.

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"Wake me when the tourists get here."

Ship's anchor with drainplug.

'It's bad enough that the stupid cruise ship didn't pick us up...'

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

'No, thanks. You'll never get me into one of those.'

Face it -- you resent me for the exploring in depth a world that you take for granted.

"We want a good selection of hotels restaurants and activities...but no tourists!"

Noah's AARP.

"No, I didn't have a tracking chip implanted in you. The reason I know every room you've been in is because I followed your mud trail."

'He passed on the climbing wall but had a go at the glass-blowing.'

Sea Adventure Book

"Seriously? 'It is what it is', that's it?"

"Me? I thougt they were your anniversary surprise!"

'I can't get into my room because of all the clothes, books and C.Ds piled up against the door, so we have to go in this way.'

Happy Anniversary

"Chatting or no chatting?"

Halcyon Prospects.

'Dysentery or non-dysentery section?'

"Hey, wait a minute! This isn't the way to the airport."

Young honeymoon couple seasick on a channel crossing.