Unlucky Traveler Gifts

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

The fate of the emigrant

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Injured backpacker.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

A tourist sees that every sign leads the right way.

"Aren't you going to ask me if I've forgotten anything?"

The island paradise is the same as on the brochure, just a tad smaller than he thought.

'Let's follow this guy you said, he seems to know the way!'

Scarecrow Directions

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

"You are going on a long journey. You will throw your back out putting your bag in the overhead. You will never recover from jet lag. It will rain every day. You will lose your passport. Your flight home will be cancelled."

'The ironic part is, I'm sure I left the bathtub running.'

"Amsterdam? Boy, am I lost!"

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

Intelligent Navigation Device...

Mt Rushmore south side viewing platform

"You're holding the map upside-down."

"This passport is so weak that I need a visa to enter my own country."

'That's typical - they're not our suitcases!'

'Last Chance for a Nice Chat'

I think we're just going round in circles

'Well, I don't care WHAT you say - it's the biggest hotel pool I've ever seen!'

"Why don't we just stay by this rock and take day trips around the local area?

Everest Sign in Heaven

Last exit to return and get what you forgot

Lonesome Road.

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

'Oh, what the hell, let's stick it over there.'

"Your call is important to us, please hold on for the next available echo."

On the plus side, folks, we should have you on the ground way, way ahead of schedule...