The Punctuality Police Gifts

"I'm aware you called to say you'd be late, but that was nine months ago!"

Late BroomStick

"You keep impeccable time."

Excess Baggage: When you are on a cruise and they say the ship leaves at 5:30, they really mean the ship leaves at 5:30.

The Vicar 's Invitation to Dinner.

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

Employee attending a breakfast meeting in his pyjamas.

'Am I the first one here?'

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

Time Clock

Deadlines, Inc.

'The trouble with punctuality is that it makes the day so long!'

Low self esteem workshop - 'You missed it. It finished two hours ago, you useless pillock.'

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

"You're late."

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

The Adventures of Grammar Man

John was always the first to notice typos.

"I don't like it - he used a spell checker!"

"Sorry! Traffic was awful and also I left really late."

"You're so consistently late that you're pretty much doing my job and docking your own hours."

Clock in, Clock out.

Internal Clocks.

'That's Watson, away on the stroke of five as usual.'

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

"Yea yea, I'm right around the corner!"

"Finally! I got all my deliveries done on time! I also put all the oil cans on the oil can shelves! And I actually put batteries in the battery display!"

'I've invented a device for making people late for work.'

Cuckoo flying out of its clock.

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."