The Eco-conscious Capitalist Gifts

'I don't really believe in global warming... until I found a way to make money at it.'

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

A sign on the front lawn of a house reads "Keep off the chemicals".

The New Normal

'The environmental impact study is quite alarming, and this might just be the tip of the iceberg.'

Dept. Sustainable Energy.

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

Population train.

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

'They're misbehaving again. What do we do this time? - flood or global warming?'

BP vows to donate revenues from the blown-out oil well to wildlife rehabilitation.

Earth Mover 3000: A not-so-happy God with the humans about to use an Earth Mover on Planet Earth

Biofuel - a solution or...?

'Stocks rose on news that 'green' - the color of money - is considered environmentally friendly.'

"The mural reminds them of their natural habitat."

"I can remember when water was just wet."

"Our target must be close enough to seem achievable, by far enough so we're not accountable."

If you left the window open and the light on when I was little, the room would fill with insects...

'That is some serious alternative energy.'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

Shareholders Meeting - I don't like the look of this year's annual shindig.

desert isle shopping trolley...

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'

"I can't say I love New York, but I can say New York loves me."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

You wait until the polar icecaps melt my friend then we will see who is laughing!

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Climate Catastrophism

"Yeah, these things smell disgusting, but if you line your nest with them, you get insulation and it helps to keep the eggs warm..."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

"Filling up 10 cars with gas would be crazy expensive!"

"I miss the scarecrow."