Green Capitalist Gifts

Investments: Welcome Vegans! As about our '100% Plant-Based Commodities Fund.'

'I do everything I can for the environment as long as I can make money at it.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

Don't let the woodcutters get too close or they'll make a fuel out of you!

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

Climate Change -- You are here.

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

The Ship of Fools. The earth as a ship, heading for destruction as people party, oblivious to the danger

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'Is it me, Fiona, or the hole in the ozone?'

Ecological Therapy

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

How Climate Change Works

Putting money back in to the world economy

Recycling Centre

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

"There's a gentleman here to discuss his idea for reducing aircraft exhausts."