Green Capitalist Gifts

Investments: Welcome Vegans! As about our '100% Plant-Based Commodities Fund.'

'I do everything I can for the environment as long as I can make money at it.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

"I do miss trees but I don't miss the raking."

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

"Matthew, did we agree to adopt a whale?"

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

'Have you done something to your air? You look different?'

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

A globe detaches itself from its stand and falls into a rubbish bin in the offices of the (fictional) Institute of Environmental Forecasting

Climate Change -- You are here.

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'There's a renewable source the government should use.'

'We are an environmentally sensitive organization. We will have to do a background check on the size of your carbon footprint before we can make an offer of employment.'

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

'It's only now that we've chopped down all of the trees that we can see the damage we've done'

"At least their bull sessions are green. Everything they say is 100% biodegradable."

The Ship of Fools. The earth as a ship, heading for destruction as people party, oblivious to the danger

'Is it me, Fiona, or the hole in the ozone?'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

Ecological Therapy

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"Some day, son, all this will be yours. Sorry."

'I'd love to play house, Kevin, but I've got a business to run.'

'What it is is a giant kidney.'

How Climate Change Works

Putting money back in to the world economy

Recycling Centre

"I don't think of it as an environmental disaster, I think of it as inventing extinct animals."

"Well, our toxic wastes are ten times more harmful thinner hazardous wastes."