The Decorator's Duo Pillows

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Quick, press control Z!'

Redecorating Easter Island.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"Love your feng shui!"

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Curtains haberdashery

Pea green