The Decorator's Duo Gifts

Using teamwork to paint a lamppost.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

Still Life With Nordic Track

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Not tonight. The furniture is sentient again."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

Redecorating Easter Island.

Pollock Painting Company

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

Pea green

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

"Well, I didn't have any more wall space, and I was also tired of being bald."