The Cable Cut-offs Gifts

'...You haven't paid your cable bill'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

'Help! I'm wired and I can't get up!'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Man Plugged Into His Stereo.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

Boxer's Hair Styles.

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

Minutes since the TV broke.

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

'This is where it gets tricky. I see 3 alternate endings and a director's cut.'

'I think we found the cause of your modem lag.'

"I'll talk! I'll talk! Just turn off the director's cut."

"I never realized how many wires and cords we used. And that's just from my office."

"Someday I'll buy a little place in the country and take my finger off the Zeitgeist."

Finally free of cable TV costs

Cut out and keep your own Virgin Mary.

You should cut the cord. I did it years ago. What do you mean? I canceled cable. I get the same stuff I used to see for much less, by streaming Netflix, Hulu and Amazon through a Roku box

"Why would I need 185,000 TV channels??"

'I see that you make friends easily.'

"I'm fed up... When are they sorting out this wireless network?"

"I'm a societal mutation."

A day without cable ends badly.

Changing TV into book.

I'm living proof of evolution, Randy. What? Unlike most of America, I don

'I can't afford cable, it's the lobby security camera.'