Cable Lover Gifts

Minutes since the TV broke.

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

'Just a couple more and we'll call it a day.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"Let's wait for it to come out on cable and then not watch it."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

Nearly a third of the earth's life-forms have gone extinct. Cut! Stop with all the facts. This is debate club! But we're using a cable tv talk show format! What should I say? Unsupported opinions

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

'What did your grandmother and I do before we had 600 channels? Go ask your 12 aunts and uncles.'

"As a voter, I don't follow any party line, I follow a cable channel."

The scourge of the 'burbs, cable pirates board another innocent hom in their unceasing search for that one extra channel, the occasional first-run movie, or the highly-prized pay-per-view sports events..

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

F&E Cable Co. Sports. Movies. Special. 500 Channels. When you list the options in the cable package, call it "BBC America," not "The English Channel."

"It's disappointing, but if that's the biggest you've got ..."

The Capital Sisters - Dory, Cory, and Io

"The President said he hoped the bill would receive broad bipartisan support from within the Democratic Party."

"I'm sick of you going off on me all the time!"

A single violinist with a stage full of conductors.

"The doctor says you can go home. We'll get cable."

How to put a cat in cat in a box

"Glad you could join us, Donna. Please take a seat."

"This medication may interact with paying your rent and being able to afford cable."

The one thing about a queue is it keeps everyone in line.

'He ain't texting, Boss...'

'You read? What kind of entertainment is that?'

'Whoa!...These graphics are killer!'

Happiness is a warm Xbox Series X.

"Here's one - what gets shorter after a pandemic but stays just as long?"

"Somehow I'd always imagined that the melding of man and machine would result in someone of superhuman strength, rather than super connectivity."

'No, I can talk.'

"I think there's been a clerical error!"

"I would've called and cancelled, but you know how I hate disappointing cable companies."