Thanksgiving Escapist T-Shirts

Roscoe's Great Escape

Woman dreaming about being on vacation.

"And then, when I feel like a rum punch and breaded shrimp, I can just swim to Tony’s Trattoria."

'See you in two weeks!'

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Cake Escape

"Let's go back to our cabana, get into bed and shop online."

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

Contestants defeated in the ring toss competition head back to the hotel to recharge for a late night nude hot tub partying and 'bootie shakin' erotic cage fetish dancing.

"But honey, I've spent my last 30 years pretending to look busy. I can't quit overnight."

Homing Pigeon GPS Manfunction

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'Send me somewhere sunny and warm!'

'I need all the heat I can get before I have to go to the North Pole to prepare for this Christmas.'

Man opens front door to find he's up in clouds.

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

"Dude, I don't mind watching your holiday video, but can you fast-forward it please..."

Sleeping Tiger

"He went that-a-way." (snail escapes).

"He's in a far better place. It's always nice to spend the winter in Miami."

Alone in the great blue sea at last, Professor Hoehns comes to know panic firsthand.

Will Make You Sick So You Can Go Home.

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

Message in a bottle.

"Hold it, there's someone on my other island!"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"Ain't no drab plumage at closing time."

'Tom, I think you better rearrange your tail feathers.'

Man escaping from his scolding wife by inhaling ether

Ramblers Association

'The leaves are falling, Henry ... are we going to the beach this year?'

"Just be honest, John... you'd rather be fishing with the guys than spending the weekend with me, right?"

'A lovely area, but not enough waiters!'