Thanksgiving Survivalist T-Shirts

'Tom, I think you better rearrange your tail feathers.'

'Hey, Fred, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?'

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"'Tis the story of a woeful refugee... ...whose plight has been forgotten. An admirable, amiable sort is he... but boy is he downtrodden. With courage of the kind you rarely see, he defended this land, when Redcoats invaded over land and sea, peck their knees and hands. And how did America repay this debt it owed its forest bird? Did you put our noble visage on the national seal as we would have preferred? No... You ate us. Just like the British did. I really think that it's the least you can do

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'As a token of friendship we present to you this sacred albino fawn.' 'We sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean, and all you have is light deer?!'

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'In an effort to make this sales meeting more pleasant, I have taken the liberty of rotating our sales graph counter clockwise a full ninety degrees,'

Plymouth Rock

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

Beauty and the Baste

"Talk about close calls! Harry, tell them about last Thanksgiving!"

"It'll never be ready in time."

'It's the worst possible diagnosis a bear can receive -- sleep apnea.'

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

Thanksgiving Feast. Get lots of turkey, but not too much of you'll have to take a pause at the nap box. I'm skipping the cranberries and going for the green beans and the potatoes. I'm at the stuffing now and getting bonus points for extra gravy! Hey! There's a shortcut through the corn, straight to the pumpkin pie! I win! Not so fast. You missed the most important spot where you give thanks for your family and friends. Oh, you're right. It's okay that I didn't win. I'll get you tomor

'Leave it to the school system to turn an enjoyable meal into an historical event.'

Roscoe's Great Escape

'Thanks for making it guys. Come on in and pull up a chair.' A square hole in an office floor where chairs can be pulled up from

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

Thanksgiving.

A football player catching a turkey

"I really hate sales meetings"