Texting Wizards Pillows

Opticians Sign With Modern Text Acronyms

Sorry for the delayed reply to your message – I had to run home and drink more water.

'We used to be a nuclear family...now we're cellular.'

'I just got a hex message from Zelda.'

Oymoticons

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

The Mating Call of the Modern Youth

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'This is Martins, the office I was telling you about. She's got a real knack for texting people down from window ledges!'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

Couple kissing by a 'Ped Xing and Oing' sign.

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

This reader asks, "Dear Dr. Ernie, is it true that most people need to improve their listening skills?" Sure, I enjoy the glistening hills.

'When did they start giving Pulitzers for texting?'

The Art of Bantering!

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

"I lost all my hair to the texting bubbles that came and went without saying a word."

"What do you mean, I hardly moved all night? I was constantly dancing around politics, religion and the weather."

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

All right, if it will make you feel better, I'll call you my BFF.

"And she's an interesting conversationalist, too."

The Town Tweeter

An ellipsis in the sky

"My therapist says you have to at least meet me half way."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

Tweet

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

'You're entitled to one text message, 160 characters max, so you better make it count.'