Texting Whiz Pillows

'I am smiling. Didn't you get my :) emoticon?'

'I doubt that Hector has read a book in months, but he's texting at an eighth grade level.'

Cat Emojis

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

'I've located the lost island of annoying texting clichés.'

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

Color illustration of a cell phone, 'my communication center'.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

Oymoticons

Nerd tryouts.

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"Brilliant cover letter, lousy résumé."

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'How fast can you hype?'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

Sub Editor

Writing the poem was easy: there are lots of words rhyming with "snow"...

The Communicator

A Court Reporter's Pocket Knife

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

Networking

'I flunked English, but I got an A for blogging.'

No, boss, we still don't have an emoticon that says 'I'm laughing all the way to the bank.''

1080P New Year's Resolution

'Yes, a winky face is correcy...But in ancient times, the semicolon was actually used to separate archaic written devices know as 'complete sentences.''

'You must have a lot of untapped potential.'

The Woman Who Could Talk to Engineers...